The First Day 2

My mum has always known that i love dogs - despite not being allowed a pet and bringing all sorts of birds, cats, frogs etc home as a child, they would be taken to the RSPCA off Edge Lane. So, as i was now hitting forty, and a sensible adult, living in my own home with children, I did not expect to have my values and choices questioned as i had put everything on hold for mum being with me for a few weeks. The first morning, lots of crashing and banging was going on upstairs - I had woken up early, driven the boys to school, taken the dogs out for a quick constitutional, my best friend had come over with the newspaper for mum, and we were all set for her grand entrance... It was 0930hrs... Clatter clatter, bang bang thud - mum descended the stairs and knocked two photos off the wall in the hallway... She was using a hospital aid (stick) with her good arm, and refused any help to bring down her handbag and worldly possessions in the process.... "Mum, do you want any help?"..... "NO! The only thing i want is to go home to my OWN house in Liverpool where I live"... Such was the conversation every morning - challenges as she had not made the decision herself to come down to stay with me in Essex. "Ok, fine, but you have to stay with me for a few weeks to get your arm and you stronger, so you can cope at home" - There really was no reasoning with her at this time of the morning, and it was a case of simply diverting her attention to what might be in the newspapers, or the crossword, or on daytime, mind numbing TV... We found that she enjoyed Judge Judy, and playing cards, as well as estate agent shows where purchasers went to Auctions to bid on houses, and, as mum would say - "a Doer Upper" would be a bargain - and the TV crew would return later in the show to see how they coped with the renovations... That first day, i had mum registered with our family Doctor in Maldon - he came out to see mum. It was inevitably always such a pa-lava to get her into the car and to any appointments as mum did love a drama and would scream if i touched or looked like i was going to touch her knee (which had been painful for 40 years but she had not had it replaced as she was afraid of anaesthetic...) getting her in and out of the car - her screams would be louder if there was an audience of poor members of the public minding their own business at bus stops etc... They would give me the evil eye, which mum would love! I was concerned about mum's arm - it was fractured in five places and she had been on the bathroom floor for 14 hours before Diane found her and took her to hospital.... Inevitably, mum became ill and had caught a chill - the GP wanted to get her into hospital, but mum refused to go - "I will die if you take me there!" - so we left it that day and just gave her lots of vitamin drinks and supplements with her meals... By the end of the first day i was completely shattered - my nerves were on edge - she would say "living on her nerves" - that is how i felt... the anxiety was killing me, but with a large glug of wine, we got through the first day!!!